Welcome back bloggers back on the 19th we had to make a recount here's mine down below (learning intention under slide)
I was trying to write sentences that were descriptive and made sense. My minor focus was to punctuate my work and use capital letters correctly. Bye.
Hi Omar,
ReplyDeleteWell done, you have good punctuation and capital letters. I like that you have tried to put in more descriptive words but you need to do a bit more. For example "beautiful" it is like you just put the word in because you needed to. Why was it beautiful? You use "after and then", too many times. Once you use a word, don't use it again for at least another paragraph. Talking about your lunch was your chance to use some good descriptive words but you used "didn't like" and "nice". Have an other look at these sentences and see what you can come up with. Let your imagination go.
Kia ora Omar,
ReplyDeleteI really like how you described what you were learning. I also like how you tried to use adverbs (roughly) and a verb (waking up).
I wonder if you can use a thesaurus to come up with interesting words.
Looking forward to future blog posts,
Miss Laxa
Hi Omar
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your recount of a typical day of distance learning in your bubble, I liked how you described how you prepared for your daily learning and you made me laugh at your reaction to your lunch.
Perhaps a few more adjectives would be a good idea but keep it up!
Hey Omar
ReplyDeleteThat was an interesting recount. I liked how you shared your learning intention. Maybe next time you can put it before your recount and then the reader has an idea of what you’re working on!
I think you did a good job with your spirals and your full stops. I believe it made sense too..
Hey well done and keep it up!